Based on the book, Marriage is for destiny by Funke Felix Adejumo (FFA).
Marriage is a subject that you must take time to consider very carefully because no one should jump into a sacred institution that can be mocked by unbelievers – but will through your union glorify God and bless humanity.
God, the author of life designed marriage for several reasons of which an immediate or apparent goal at the beginning of the world was for every union to populate the earth and be in charge of it. Undoubtedly, God is unequivocally a purpose-driven God who has a bigger picture in mind when creating the institution of marriage. Now that this goal has been achieved, we can now look to uncover the remaining reasons He planned for marriage to fulfil and why marriage is still important in the 21st century.
We will major on the pre-marital reasons why it is important to get married, from which you can consider your “WHY” for marriage. They are not post-marital reasons why an existing marriage should stay together, there are other clear reasons for that. Although, as a married individual you will find consolation or motivation in revisiting these reasons in order to re-evaluate the decisions for your marriage.
Companionship
When God created man, He realised that Adam was lonely and animals could never keep his company all the time: then He solved the companionship need for Adam and eliminate his concern for isolation, by creating a woman. This begs the question, “how and why did marriage become significant and necessary?” If Adam was the first creation, why was it important to resolve a need that did not exist?
Apparently, the creator and Father of all, was never alone but accompanied by His Spirit and Son, meaning that He is God in Trinity (3-in-1). So, crafting the world in His own image meant that all His creation including man will definitely mirror His likewise-ness for companionship, which necessitated the creation of a woman (i.e. Eve) to accompany man (Adam) and fill the earth via reproduction.
Therefore, by birth and as a result of the association you shared first with your mother, father and perhaps siblings, YOU became a social being! You have now grown up with the desire to always be with someone because you were born into an existing family system. Even if you were born an orphan, you lived and were brought up in a social environment where people do things together and get satisfaction from the joy of others. So, if you did not get influenced by a family system, you could not have avoided the over-bearing influence for companionship that a social environment puts on you.
A need for a companion is possibly the present-day reason for every union between a man and woman on earth.
Friendship
There are hierarchical levels to relationships of which an extremely ambiguous category is “friendship;” which is used loosely and without depth to its core meaning is now a reason for its many misinterpretations plus mistaken beliefs. At its core, “true friendship” is a personal relationship between two or more people based on what either friend do for their welfare, growth, companionship and some degree of intimacy. Any relationship void of these elements is in the lower level of the relationship pyramid.
In true friendships, “like” is an understatement for the level of emotional and human capital investment that real friends make for themselves. It is best advised to identify an individual without this level of commitment as a colleague, neighbour, teammate, acquaintance, associate, flex-pal, but never “a friend” which means more in actuality.
Thus, the foundational motivation and historically proven element of success for every marriage is a relationship achieved between true friends; which is why clarifying its core meaning and value is greatly important and valuable. It is not recommended or wise of you to consider marrying anyone for the sake of reproduction: that goal has been achieved, so make friends.
The thriving purpose of a fruitful marriage is not for two people to be joined together to pleasure themselves or reproduce and leave a human legacy on earth: rather it is for them to be friends and go to the end of the world for themselves.
Interestingly, this should give you an understanding that “love” is not a “feeling,” it is more of responsibilities, endurance, and yields of capital and social investment made between two intimate partners.
“People say that love is blind, I am convinced however that Marriage is an eye-opener” – Funke Felix Adejumo (FFA)
Accomplishment
An achievement, a feat, a triumph, success, or an exploit are synonyms of accomplishment. Reaching a goal or an objective is a joyful thing and a happy moment that everyone yearns for – so is getting married. It is a valuable goal: more than getting yourself a new house or a new job, a new car or a new phone. It clearly means that another important impetus or motivation for getting married is the feat of getting joined with another individual for life on earth.
Perhaps you wonder why getting married is a thing to be joyful for? Intrinsically, the answer can be found in the logical value of such union or arrangement. For two is apparently better than one: and the joint labour of two people will definitely yield greater rewards. No one person is by himself/herself a company or an institution, it is only achieved by the addition of extra hands that come together to make the work easier, seamless, effective and also efficient.
Therefore, the coming together of two people in a marriage relationship is so that their lives can be 2x better together in every capacity. Hold this at the back of your mind: the founding design for marriage is to add (prosper) and never subtracting (decline), for it is a counsel from God.
“Anything short of improvement in a marriage is a manipulation of the devil” – FFA
Sharing.
The Advanced English Dictionary (AED) puts it this way, “sharing is using or enjoying something jointly with others, in this case, your significant other.” Although it begs the question of what will be shared or enjoyed between both parties.
Firstly, the existing friendship and intimacy between the partners is an unequivocal experience that is worth sharing for a lifetime. Secondly, the partners get to enjoy an intense level of exclusivity for life. Even the prospect of sharing your life with another significant other is in any form of exclusive manner is appealing for one to get married.
Emphatically, the degree of exclusivity between the two is affiliated to how much value they attach to their life experiences and investments that will be shared between themselves. Also, as a social being that you are, you possess an innate desire for an exclusive relationship, – a sole attention/care from a fitting partner – that the general public will not provide you.
“Nothing is secret, but it is proven that every-one requires an exclusive form of privacy –to be vulnerable with a caring partner, – and a marriage relationship ensures just that.” -FFA
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Mamma you such a blessing. You have not only inspired me but has built my spiritual journey. I look forward to your lessons every day. My perspation towards womanhood has taken a new dimension. Be blessed ma. We look forward to your visit to zambia.
Angela